Storage Wars is totally fake, alleges new lawsuit that is familiar with reality television, apparently

In a lawsuit that threatens to throw back the door on Storage Wars and reveal all the unbelievable things that just happen to be hidden there totally by coincidence, a former cast member of the A&E show has sued its producers and the network, alleging that it is nothing but a staged "fraud on the public." David Hester—a frequent purchaser of abandoned storage units known on the show as "The Mogul," because of irony—has claimed that A&E "regularly plants valuable items or memorabilia" inside the storage lockers that he and other cast members bid on, such as a BMW Mini and "newspapers chronicling Elvis Presley's death" that are really valuable, we guess. Hester adds that, after he complained, producers stopped staging his own lockers—but continued to do so for others—then cut him out of the fourth season, leading to his claims of wrongful termination and breach of contract, as well as unfair business practices.

Unlike past reality shows that have been accused of faking some aspects of their production, such as Cash Cab, House Hunters, and every reality show where the purpose is making television that someone would want to watch, Hester's suit claims Storage Wars is almost completely a lie: " Nearly every aspect of the Series is faked, even down to the plastic surgery that one of the female cast members underwent in order to create more 'sex appeal' for the show, the cost of which was paid for by Original [Productions]," the lawsuit reads, a revelation that should prove dismaying to fans who have been masturbating to Storage Wars, whose lives were going pretty well until just now. Anyway, Hester is seeking more than $750,000 in damages, or some pretty decent armoires and a newspaper chronicling Elvis Presley's death.