Christian heavy-metal artist Michael Sweet (of Stryper) has been forced to deny that he’s secretly Christian political lightweight Ted Cruz (of making Donald Trump look like a semi-reasonable Republican option). Sweet was responding to rumors stemming from a pair of photos of the two men currently circulating around the internet in which they both seem very satisfied about the aggressive thickness of their own eyebrows. The rumor/joke has spread from an initial tweet from author Mike Boulerice, author of The Adventures Of Kungfu Mike:
It took a few days for the tweet to make its way to Sweet, who’s currently working on an upcoming solo album, and whose reaction to the news is thus perhaps a little more positive than it might otherwise be. For instance, instead of marching to the nearest plastic surgeon for a Cruz-ectomy, or attempting to just cut out the middleman and set Twitter itself on fire, he’s mostly playing along with the joke:
But that’s not all. Pursued by the damned souls whose job it is to transform the gestating Ted Cruz candidacy into watchable TV—i.e., the folks over at CNN and NBC News—Sweet has also given several interviews about the alleged resemblance (which, for the record, he doesn’t see), while simultaneously giving Stryper more TV coverage than it’s had since “Shining Star” was featured on all those “Best Of ’80s Hair Metal” compilations that always used to play on cable:
In other news, the Zodiac Killer has yet to express a response to similar internet rumors about the two being the same person, although we’re legally required to note that that should in no way be construed as yet another point of proof that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer.