“Woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.” So said George Clooney in O Brother, Where Art Thou?, a film that is curiously not represented in Robert Jones’ “A Tribute To Female Seduction,” even though the steamy (yet arguably SFW and nudity-free) YouTube supercut amply proves Clooney’s point again and again over the course of four butt-wiggling, come-hither-stare-giving, shirt-tearing-open minutes of female seduction scenes from the last five decades of movies. Here, one will see such formidable screen sirens as Phoebe Cates, Demi Moore, Cybill Shepherd, Jamie Lee Curtis, Mena Suvari, Isla Fisher, Rebecca De Mornay, and many others use their feminine wiles and considerable physical attributes to vex and manipulate the weak-willed, easily tempted men in their lives. Men like, say, American Beauty’s Kevin Spacey, who reacts thusly:
Message received. One curious sub-theme of this supercut, one perhaps not even intended by its creator, is the devastating effect of overt feminine sexuality on men in the movies. For the most part, the men depicted in “A Tribute To Female Seduction” are rendered helpless, afraid, and totally disarmed by the scarily sexual women around them. A cutely flustered Dustin Hoffman manages to stammer out his famous line about how Anne Bancroft is trying to seduce him in The Graduate, but that’s as articulate as these guys get. In Wedding Crashers, poor Vince Vaughn reacts to Isla Fisher’s aggressive lap dance the way one might to flesh-eating bacteria. Mostly, though, like Tom Cruise in Risky Business, the men just become slack-jawed, gawking idiots. Curiously, in the supercut, all of this is set to the strains of “Wetter” by The Singularity, since apparently no female-sung seduction songs were available. The clip’s creator, Robert Jones, previously had the bright idea of combining Teletubbies with Die Antwoord, which suggests a whole other level of sexual dysfunction.