For much of the '90s, Saturday Night Live has created a sick little cycle with its recurring characters. First, characters that weren't funny in the first place are featured in skit after skit, creating the illusion that they're both funny and popular. Then they're adapted into reasonably low-budget movies that are marketed and cross-marketed in a way that creates a false widespread desire to see them, leading to more movies and more recurring characters. To ensure the continued proliferation of awful SNL-derived films, producers seem to be forcing potential cast members to sign contracts binding them to bad SNL movies, a prospect that should be equally terrifying to both new hires and the miserable souls who subject themselves to Superstar. The first production from SNL Studios—just hearing those words together should send shivers up your spine—Superstar tells the story of a socially and sexually backwards high-schooler (Molly Shannon) who dreams of winning the school talent show and kissing popular jock Will Ferrell. Written by Steve Koren, the same hack who co-spewed the script for the similarly abysmal, SNL-derived A Night At The Roxbury, Superstar takes a character insufferable in eight-minute doses and makes her the focus of an interminable 95-minute film. Quite possibly the most irritating recurring character in SNL history, Shannon's shtick consists of four or five unfunny routines, all of them repeated endlessly here. These include, but are not limited to: kissing trees and/or poles, reciting monologues from TV movies, smelling her own armpits, falling down, and inadvertently showing her underwear. Enjoy a joke in Superstar? Don't worry, it'll show up again before long. And while it would be nice to think of the film as a stand-alone piece of dreck, you can rest assured that Lorne Michaels and company will wretch forth plenty more like it soon.