In the bleak, increasingly Hot Pocket-less techno-dystopia that is Obama’s America, there’s really not much for the average Joe or Jane Q. Workhorse to hope for. White people are only getting most of the parts on TV, ISIS has taken Tatooine, and, worst of all, Mortdecai is now rated PG-13. Instead, it’s just wake up, go to work, leave snarky comments on some shitty website, go home, watch TV, watch some more TV, and die.
But Taco Bell, a subsidiary of the multi-billion dollar Yum! Foods corporation, has seen a better way. No more will we have to suffer the depersonalizing effects of eating processed food covered in carcinogenic flavor dust served by underpaid workers exploited by a faceless corporation, unless that carcinogenic flavor dust is Doritos-flavored and the faceless corporation is Taco Bell. To this end, the company has launched a new breakfast menu item, the biscuit taco, that rejects the petty bourgeoise values of eating food that’s made of actual food and affirms the workers’ right to call things tacos, even if they in no way involve tortillas or Mexican cuisine in general.
To celebrate its glorious revolution, Taco Bell has launched an ad campaign apparently inspired by one of its PR executives catching The Hunger Games on Netflix one night during an especially decadent cocaine binge. In the video, the inhabitants of the sooty, quasi-Soviet McWasteland known as the Routine Republic shuffle through their meaningless lives, much like you, dear reader, when you are not at Taco Bell. Then a couple of actors suddenly decide to make a run for it—hoping they can still make that Starbucks audition, no doubt—and suddenly we’re in an issue of Adbusters, set to a vinyl-only B-side called “Blitzkreg Bop” from an obscure band called The Ramones that only true individuals like you and Taco Bell have ever heard of:
Sweet culture jam, bro. Who wants to get matching barcode tattoos?