Yesterday the nation came to a standstill outside various Apple Stores, as thousands of iPhone 4 hopefuls lined up to endure hours of summer heat, exhaustion, isolation from loved ones, and the creeping sensation that a slightly better model of smartphone with its own all-new crippling setbacks may not be worth the trial. Even actor-person Jason Bateman was not immune to the lure of a sharper display and a digital camera that isn’t a complete mockery of digital cameras, so he dutifully lined up with approximately 2,000 non-Jason Batemans outside an L.A. mall, only to be rescued from inconvenience within minutes by an Apple Store employee and obvious Teen Wolf Too fan, who came and helped him cut the line.
As Bateman left the store, he was roundly booed by the envious hordes—and while it would be easy to cast this story as an example of a celebrity getting his fair and just reprisal for flaunting his privilege, let’s be honest: Imagine someone came up to you and said, “Hey, you’re special. Instead of rotting with the unwashed masses of the non-special, would you like to be whisked inside and taken care of immediately, so you can get on with your busy day of bringing merriment to the world as soon as possible?” Personally, we would take advantage of that shit, and when the chorus of boos started up, capture it all with the high-definition video camera on our brand new phone, possibly while letting out one of these.