Ted Lasso's Brett Goldstein loves The Muppets, chocolate milk, and swearing at children

Partway through his Thursday interview with Jimmy Kimmel, Ted Lasso star and Emmy nominee Brett Goldstein asked if it was all right to swear on national TV. Kimmel respectfully had to remind Goldstein that he’d already dropped a brisk “shit” in passing, telling the man behind everyone’s favorite gruffly lovable footballer-turned-coach Roy Kent that that’s what the bleep button is for, and to have at it. (Unlike the uncensored Wild West that is streaming, ABC just can’t handle a grown man calling a pack of adorable little girls “fucking pricks,” apparently.)

Goldstein, who’s up for a Best Supporting Actor Emmy this Sunday, initially dropped his s-bomb while confirming that he’d originally only been hired for the Ted Lasso writers room, before he came to the startling realization during pre-production, “I think I’m Roy.” And while the dawning knowledge that there’s an emotionally stunted, foul-mouthed, borderline-violent football enforcer lurking inside of you might give some people pause, Goldstein told Kimmel that his pitch to take the pitch as AFC Richmond’s captain simply took the form of a sheepish email to series co-creators Jason Sudeikis, Bill Lawrence, Joe Kelly, and Brendan Hunt.

“If this is awkward, or this is shit, pretend you never got this email,” is what Goldstein wrote, having attached several self-taped scenes of him embodying Richmond’s fearsomely surly midfielder. (Goldstein told Kimmel that, until that point, he was merely known as the “soft-spoken,” Muppet-loving, writerly Brett.) Luckily for him, and lovers of snarling macho boys with hearts of secret mush, Goldstein’s bosses wrote back, with deadpan understatement, “Do you know what, we can’t be bothered to keep looking, that’ll do.” Fucking-A, right, it will.

With the Emmys in the off, already acclaimed writer, actor, and podcaster Goldstein admitted, with Roy Kent freedom of tongue, “I fucking love being Emmy nominee Brett Goldstein.” As he put it, no matter what he does from now on, it’ll sound more interesting, although his suggestion for the headline “Emmy nominee Brett Goldstein found dead in his pool” might not be the most sunny outcome. Still, Goldstein assured everyone that he’s perfectly happy walking around as said Emmy nominee, especially since his “football hooligan” father (Go, Tottenham Hotspur) is finally proud to have a son stalking the Premiere/Championship League pitch, albeit fictionally.

And if Goldstein’s dad is (one hopes) better able to manage his fatherly football fanaticism better than, say, Richmond star Jamie Tartt’s, Goldstein says that his father will still drop Roy Kent’s name, Nate Shelley-style, in order to score some reflected glory at the local coffee shop. As for all of what Ted Lasso might call Roy’s cussin’, Goldstein could only offer this advice. “I’m not telling you how to live your life,” Goldstein told Kimmel, “but it’s funny swearing in front of kids.” Plus, unlike Roy’s running swear-jar tab with niece Phoebe, Goldstein is actually making a pretty solid living from telling children to come have “a proper fuck-about” in the schoolyard. Oh, and to prove he’s not some CGI, Muppet-y creation, Goldstein also drank a glass of chocolate milk live onstage, so back the fuck off, internet.