Terry Crews sullies his good name as spokesman for Amazon warehouse jobs

Just when you thought Amazon couldn't get any worse, they go and taint America's sweetheart

By Andrew Paul  |  November 11, 2021 | 10:15pm
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Terry Crews sullies his good name as spokesman for Amazon warehouse jobs
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Et tu, Terry? Photo: Santiago Felipe

It’s hard to think of someone more universally enjoyed than Terry Crews. Not only is he our longtime walking, talking, emphatically gesticulating embodiment of joy, but his candor and compassion on difficult subjects like toxic masculinity and sexual assault have helped chip away at longstanding, archaic cultural taboos regarding men, emotion, and empathy. Sure, he’s been known to take a gig or two for the check alone, but if anyone has earned it, it’s him.

And yet, we can’t help but shake our heads and sigh at Crews’ latest commercial appearance as—sigh… there’s really no easy way to say this—spokesperson for Amazon’s annual warehouse worker holiday hiring spree. What’s more, it’s via an in-app TikTok commercial.

And just like that, in the span of 30 seconds, our faith in some semblance of remaining human goodness erodes even further.

Crews bounces around a cavernous Bastion of Bezos doing his best to make all manner of inane, soon-to-be fully automated jobs like packing, shrink-wrapping, forklift driving and snack break yogurt-eating look enjoyable to hard-up Americans desperate for additional income in a dystopian hell world of Amazon’s own making.

To be fair, if anyone can make something as soul- (and back-) crushing as an Amazon warehouse worker position seem fun and lively, it’s Terry Crews.

That said, no one needs to be trying to do that right now, least of all as lovely a man as him. Hopefully, the Terry Crews “Ignore Nomadland!” Amazon ad is a one-and-done situation, although we have the sneaking suspicion the 30-second TikTok spot is only the beginning of multiple disappointing entries in a completely unnecessary promotional scheme.

Someone please get in touch with this beloved man of many talents and inform him that we aren’t mad, just disappointed. It’s never too late to go back to goofy Old Spice commercials.

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