That giant robot battle was fake because there is nothing good left in this world

Earlier this week, a battle two years in the making was finally streamed live for the world to see. This ultimate robotic showdown between team USA’s 16-foot-tall mech, “Eagle Prime,” and Japan’s 13-foot-tall “Kuratas” was meant to show the destructive capabilities of these massive machines in a heart-pounding one-on-one setting. However, as Motherboard reported yesterday, this supposedly live mechanical matchup appears to have been faker than the fakest news. We have all been deceived.

“The duel was filmed over a number of days, but all the repair time was cut out,” said MegaBots co-founder Matt Oehrlein when confronted with numerous viewer comments that the fight was obviously fake and scripted. “The action was real and we aimed to create the most entertaining fight possible. We’re letting the video speak for itself!”

To be fair, the video speaks pretty clearly, but what’s it’s saying is, “I’m very scripted and fake.” From the heavily produced style to the overly excited announcers/actors, it’s immediately apparent that everything from the preliminary rounds to the final fight are not only pre-taped but completely planned out. This culminates at the 21:50 mark when the two grappling bots appear to go conveniently out of control and smash right into the judges’ table as the judges themselves feign shock and distress.

Much like Michael Phelps’ recent non-race against a great white shark, this showdown ended up being more about hype and publicity than actual substance. As one commenter wrote, “If it weren’t so obviously fake, I would have so much more respect, regardless of how boring it appeared.” What’s worse, it appears we’re still years away from producing functional, destruction-wielding mechanical monstrosities that we can watch kill each other for fun. And then a few more years away from those machines turning on us and enslaving us.