Smartasses worldwide will have to come up with a new worst-case scenario for video game movies as The Wall Street Journal reports that a Tetris movie is in the works, thanks to an agreement between the Tetris Company and Threshold Entertainment. Threshold specializes in making movies to distract people waiting in line at theme parks, but it’s also notable for bestowing the gloriously shitty kids’ movie Foodfight! on the world. (The Flop House did a great episode on it for the uninitiated.)
But wipe those visions of anthropomorphic puzzle pieces dancing with CGI Russian dolls from your mind, because Threshold CEO Larry Kasanoff says that the Tetris movie will be a “very big, epic sci-fi movie” that will probably feature a former WWE wrestler yelling “T-Spin! T-Spin! HARD DROP!” into a headset at some point. “This isn’t a movie with a bunch of lines running around the page. We’re not giving feet to the geometric shapes,” says Kasanoff, executive producer of Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College. “What you [will] see in Tetris is the teeny tip of an iceberg that has intergalactic significance.”
So look for Tetris, starring Ariana Grande, Georgia May Jagger, Joel Kinnaman, and Taylor Kitsch again, in summer 2017.