The BAFTAs asserts England's dominion over space by naming Gravity best British film

By Sean O'Neal | February 17, 2014 | 6:35pm

Aux Features Film

Thrilling to its depiction of a person allowed to perform their daily routine without the indecorous interloping of others, the BAFTAs bestowed several awards upon Gravity, in which Sandra Bullock is given the most awe-inspiring polite distance ever committed to film. Among the film’s six total honors was that of “Best British Film,” puzzling some critics as to why a movie starring two of America’s biggest stars, directed by Mexican filmmaker Alfonso Cuarón, qualified as “British.” Still, Gravity slipped in on technicalities, owing to its British producer, David Heyman, the use of British post-production facilities and effects artists, and the fact that the crown never officially rescinded its imperial control of outer space. It’s why Prince William is also technically King of the Moon.

Other big, not-very-British winners at the BAFTAs included 12 Years A Slave—which took Best Picture and Best Actor for Chiwetel Ejiofor, but oddly, not Best Director for actual British person Steve McQueen—and American Hustle, where Jennifer Lawrence continued to bring the world together in wanting to see her give acceptance speeches. It was also possibly motivated by the rumor that Lawrence is planning a move to the UK, whereupon BAFTA can finally, formally give her an award as Best British Person.