For the new issue of Interview magazine, Kirsten Dunst was interviewed by Jason Schwartzman, dipped in melted plastic, photographed, and slapped on the cover.
But even though this is probably the most flattering picture ever taken of Kirsten Dunst, it isn't the most interesting thing on the cover. This headline is:
First of all, there are few words that mean as close to nothing as the word "edgy." ("No holds barred" also has little to no significance.) But the combination of these two phrases, though, surely signifies
something. It must mean that Leno is going to allow all kinds of holds as he pushes the envelope over the edge onto a whole new shelf filled with unthinkably edgy edges, right?
Well, not exactly. Most of the interview is about his ridiculous, and annoyingly well-documented love of cars. It's not online yet, but here are a few highlights:
Russell Crowe: How are you man? What are you up to?
Jay Leno: Right now I'm working on a car, a Tatra, It's a very strange Czechoslovakian car with an air-cooled V8 in the back. It's really unusual and bizarre–it was the precursor to some of the German Volkswagons and stuff…
Whoa. Leno's totally telling it like it is. "Unusual and bizarre?" He doesn't care how many Czech toes he steps on!
Still, Russell Crowe tries to keep things interesting, which isn't easy when you're talking to the least interesting person ever, but Jay sticks to his guns and refuses to give an entertaining answer:
RC: Do you think your guests have a nicer time [than David Letterman's]?
JL: Oh, man, these are some loaded questions. We always enjoy having you on. You're a good guest. My theory is, you make the guest look good at the expense of the host. When I started the show, I was the new guy, and I couldn't get a lot of guests that Johnny did, so, consequently, I learned the real trick is knowing when to hold back. A lot of the time the guest will say something and as a comic your instinct is to just throw a comedy dagger in there and get the big laugh. And maybe you will get the big laugh, but you've just pissed off the guest or hurt their feelings and they won't come back…
So holding back is the real definition of edgy? I'm confused. Where is the promised "edgy side" of Jay Leno? Maybe they're referring to this exchange:
RC: Has your life with [your wife] Mavis changed at all?
JL: Well, I'm still driving the same car that I had when we first got together. Back when Mavis and I were first dating, we went to a spot here in LA and were thinking, Well, this would be a good place to make love for the first time. So we get in the backseat of the '55 Buick I was driving at the time and it's all fine. Then, for one of our anniversaries, maybe our 20th or something, I thought, You know, let's take the Buick and go to that exact same spot and see if we can re-create. So we drive back to the place and, of course, there are tract homes there now. But it's like 2 o'clock in the morning, and we're kind of near some guy's driveway and we're both trying to get in the backseat. It's like, "Ow! My hair! Look out!" And one of us hits the horn and the guy's porch lights turn on and he comes running out, like, "What are you doing?"
"It's all fine." What a compliment.
Nice try, Leno (and Interview). Even though this story induces images that I personally should never have to think about, I've read "edgier" embarrassing moments in Seventeen magazine.