The eternal summer of Gronk continues with Crashletes

The eternal summer of Gronk continues with Crashletes

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, July 5. All times are Eastern.

Top picks

Crashletes (Nick, 7 p.m.): In the most boring and technical of senses, Rob Gronkowski is a football player for the New England Patriots and probably the best tight end in the game. In a much more fun and important sense, Gronk is basically every merry, hard-partying bro stereotype taken together and stuffed into a complete lack of a shirt, all capped with a childlike, buffoonish glee that somehow keeps the whole thing endearing. All of which is to say that as great as Gronkowski is during the NFL season, his true natural habitat is the off-season, and this year he’s spending time hosting Crashletes, a showcase of all the best “epic sports fails” the world’s viral videos have to offer. We recommend tuning in if only to figure out whether Gronk actually has the slightest idea he’s hosting a TV show or whether it’s all an elaborate, Mister Ed-style sleight of hand on the part of the producers.

Mission Jupiter (Science, 9 p.m.): For those who don’t consider Gronk to be America’s greatest achievement, maybe spend that Independence Day hangover with this look at what NASA’s been up to lately? The Juno mission has just reached Jupiter, and this hourlong special has all the details on the space program’s latest journey into the unknown.

Impact Wrestling (PopTV, 9 p.m.): The best, or at least the most gloriously batshit insane wrestling angle of 2016 reaches its climax tonight, as Jeff “Brother Nero” Hardy takes on his broken brother, the wild-haired, ambiguously accented Matt Hardy in a match fought not in a TNA ring but at their own private compound. There’s a trailer out for what TNA is calling “The Final Deletion” (which we’ll get to), but the real video the whole world needs to watch is this one from earlier in the feud. It encapsulates everything wonderful and stupid about pro wrestling in five minutes; it’s really quite handy.

And let’s look back at times past. One of the other guys in this classic is about to fight at UFC 200. Not too late to add Broken Matt to that card, UFC…

Premieres and finales

The Mindy Project (Hulu, 3:01 a.m.): The fourth season wraps up with romantic complications aplenty for Mindy, as her one mostly true love Danny is now engaged to Greta Gerwig’s Nurse Sarah. Also, the unnervingly sexy Garret Dillahunt is still around as Jody; things probably still aren’t quite resolved on that front yet either. Gwen Ihnat is on hand to sort it all out.

Uncle Buck (ABC, 9 p.m.): This came and went so fast we never quite realized ABC was burning it off. But the final two of the season’s eight episodes air tonight, and then presumably it’s done. Well, then, uh, bye, Uncle Buck! You were certainly a television show that aired for some number of weeks.

The Greeks (PBS, 9 p.m.): The last episode of this three-part series airs tonight with the bits that you probably vaguely remember from school (or possibly 300), as the Greeks take on the Persian Empire and establish one of the world’s first democracies. Just don’t get too attached to that nice Socrates fellow. Without venturing into spoiler territory, nothing good happens once the hemlock comes out.

Greatest Ever (truTV, 10 p.m.): This is a top 10 show looking at all sorts of different topics, from the premiere’s “Greatest Products Ever” to next week’s “Greatest Politicians Ever,” which should clearly be topped by this dude. Also, “weddings, animal videos, sports,” and a bunch of other things are apparently all on the table for the Greatest Ever treatment. This is one hell of an open-format show truTV’s got here.

Black Market With Michael K. Williams (Viceland, 10 p.m.): The Wire’s own Williams hosts what’s described as a personal journey into the world of illegal trade. Since Frontline is a repeat this week, we’re going to go ahead and declare this the most intense game in town tonight. Well, other than that Brother Nero/Broken Matt showdown, obviously.

We advise not flipping channels between these two programs, by the way. The tonal whiplash would be enough to break most people’s necks.

Regular coverage

Wrecked (TBS, 10 p.m.)

Streaming pick

“Bambi,” The Young Ones (Seeso): As our former colleague Jason Heller put it eight (eight!) years ago, the moment in which Lemmy and Motörhead show up on The Young Ones to play “Ace Of Spades” is basically the end of civilization, and “everything since has just been dirt and worms.” The rest of the episode is pretty good, too.

 
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