After facing some stiff competition from Taylor Swift, The Black Eyed Peas, and the impulse to jab a pencil into your ear, The Killers have been declared to have the “weirdest” song lyric ever written in “Are we human or are we dancer?” The survey to determine the strangest word arrangement was conducted in England, a nation that calls fried leftover vegetables “bubble and squeak,” and therefore this assignation stings all the more. And it was conducted by online streaming service Blinkbox Music among 2,000 adults—a reported two-fifths of which said they don’t usually understand the words in pop songs anyway. In other words, all of the most strictly controlled, purely scientific criteria was applied toward establishing that “Are we human or are we dancer?” sounds like the pseudo-profound babbling of the guy on mushrooms you have to ask to leave your house, because the party ended an hour ago.
Much like that guy would, Killers frontman Brandon Flowers, has previously defended the lyric from 2008’s “Human” as being inspired by Hunter S. Thompson. “I guess it bothers people that it’s not grammatically correct, but I think I’m allowed to do whatever I want,” added Flowers, who once declared himself the Admiral of Birds.
Here are the Top 10 most confusing lyrics as determined by the poll:
1. The Killers, Human “Are we human, or are we dancer?”
2. The Beatles, I Am The Walrus “I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob.”
3. Michael Jackson, Earth Song “What about elephants? Have we lost their trust?”
4. Lionel Richie, All Night Long “Tom bo li de se de moi ya, yeah jambo jambo.”
5. Carly Rae Jepsen, Call Me Maybe “Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad.”
6. Black Eyed Peas, Boom Boom Pow “Beats so big I’m stepping on leprechauns.”
7. Duran Duran, The Reflex “The reflex is an only child, he’s waiting in the park.”
8. Wham! Club Tropicana “Club Tropicana, drinks are free, fun and sunshine, there’s enough for everyone, all that’s missing is the sea.”
9. Taylor Swift, Love Story -”Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter, and my daddy said stay away from Juliet.”
10. Oasis, Champagne Supernova “Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball.”
All in all, it’s a rather tame and narrowly defined list, considering the wealth of surrealist Frank Zappa /Captain Beefheart lyrics out there, the works of Dr. Octagon and Lil B, etc. etc. (And Michael Jackson seems particularly undeserving, considering we have failed to deliver on so many of our campaign promises to elephants.) Alas, perhaps we expect too much of these 2,000 people who happened upon a survey at Blinkbox Music, whose whimsical, Wonka-esque chief even seemed gently scolding in his accompanying statement.
“It’s true that song lyrics are sometimes as crazy as a box of frogs, but then that’s show business. It would be a really boring world if everything was logical and made sense,” said Mark Bennett, Blinkbox managing director and person who probably owns several “wacky” neckties. One of them likely has piano keys.
Anyway, The Killers have still yet to answer definitively whether we are human, or whether we are dancer, because they specifically make meaningless pop songs for drunk people to sing along to.