South Park is back after a one-week hiatus. I’m forever grateful for the break after episode 7. We’re not back on Tegridy Farms, a place I miss dearly, but we’re back to leaning into potty humor, quite literally. This episode was reminiscent of episode 9 from season 11. This time instead of Stan’s dad trying to defend his record for the biggest shit ever, its Kyle’s mom and some of the other women of South Park getting into some shit.
Episode 8 begins with Kyle’s mom giving closing statements at a town meeting about how the women of South Park deserve the same amount of power as the men. Well, they get it in this episode, that’s for sure. Probably not the power they were looking for, however. Before Mrs. Broflovski can finish up, she begins violently farting, followed by vomiting and explosive diarrhea. Toilet humor can always get a laugh out of me, and I was more than happy to give my laughter over in this episode. There thankfully were no appearances from the character introduced to us previously, Heather Swanson.
Mrs. Broflovski is rushed to Hells Pass Hospital for the best medical care that could ever be provided to an animated character. Her doctor informs the Brolovski brothers their mother will receive a fecal transplant to restore balance in her gut. A real procedure. The brothers make a pact to keep everyone else in town from finding out about their mom’s life-saving procedure – and yes, you guessed it – this does not work out for them at all. As soon as Mrs. Broflovski is back on her feet, she tells everyone about her fecal transplant as they comment on her weight loss, energy, and overall improved health. It kind of turns into a real GOOP inspired situation once the other women want in on Mrs. Broflovski’s shit, except she doesn’t try to sell it online. She refuses her friend’s request when asked.
The episode’s namesake, Turd Burglars, comes to be after Cartman, Stan, and Kenny learn just how desperate the adults are for a piece of Mrs. Broflovski’s shit. One of their classmate’s mothers approaches the boys as they start giving Kyle a hard time about his mom’s transplant. She offers him a Star Wars video game in exchange for a piece of his mom’s lincoln log. I would like to believe Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order is worth more than that, but this episode tells me otherwise. Ouch.
While Cartman and the others actively work to get a few turds from the Broflovski household, Kyle becomes obsessed with microbiomes. He is initially freaked out by the idea that a percentage of his body is made up of bacteria and other microorganisms; however, later in the episode, his acceptance is what saves the day. Admittedly, I, too, got a little freaked out when I was reminded of all the good and harmful bacteria in me and surrounding me, especially with flu season upon us.
The Turd Burglars deliver the goods to their classmate’s mother in exchange for the video game. Increasing the gross factor, she had to do an at-home fecal transplant using a turkey baster as she explains to Mrs. Broflovski, Mrs. Tucker, and Mrs. Donovan after being asked how she did it. Don’t worry, if you are unable to use your imagination, there is quite the visual given by the end of the episode.
Fecal transplants become all the rage in South Park, Mr. Mackey even gets in on it, offering the Turd Burglars individual copies of the Star Wars video game they received earlier. They’re eventually enlisted to obtain Tom Brady’s feces, referred to as the Spice Melange. I wasn’t expecting to get a Dune reference in tonight’s full of shit episode, but here we are. When I think about the giant worms in Dune could be tapeworms. That ends up being a visual metaphor used just before the image of one Tom Brady’s valuable turds. Tom’s shit is the shit of all shits. His microbiome becomes the most sought after as the episode goes on. Various characters refer to it aloud and to themselves as the spice. For those unfamiliar with the Dune series, Melange referred to as the spice, is an essential and valuable drug that gives the users a longer life span, increased vitality, and heighten awareness. What Patriots fans think Tom Brady takes before kickoff, but in the world of South Park, his shit is the spice.
This episode is doing a number as South Park has in the past on fad “cure-alls.” As the Turd Burglars try to figure out how to get to Tom’s shit, the entire town becomes ill after giving themselves at-home fecal transplants using turkey basters. It’s at this moment South Park manages to ruin the idea of eating turkey on Thanksgiving the night before because it’s the basters that make everyone sick, not shotting someone else’s feces into their rectums. So maybe buy a brand new turkey baster before cooking that turkey and then throw it away immediately.
The burglars finally make into Tom Brady’s home as part of a Make-A-Wish ruse they eventually settle on. There is also another family there doing the same bit to try their luck at getting a piece of Tom Brady’s Spice Melange. Kyle arrives before Tom can kick everyone out. He becomes one with his microorganisms, and they help him locate the holy grail of Tom’s highly sought after spice, which is a vault full of shit. Subsequently, the residents of South Park are saved because there was more than enough of Tom’s shit to give everyone a proper fecal transplant back at Hells Pass Hospital. What does an appropriate fecal transplant consist of according to South Park? A turd blended with water, placed into a syringe, then injected into someone’s rectum. Thanks, South Park, for such an educational moment I didn’t exactly need the night before Thanksgiving.
The ladies received the same power as the men of South Park, and that’s shitty power, no pun intended.
Stray Observations
- I’m still missing Tegridy Farms. I’m sure Randy could have come up with a cannabis strain that would have possibly saved the day instead of Tom Brady’s shit.
- I spent about 10 minutes searching Gwenyth Paltrow’s GOOP website for a DIY fecal transplant kit. There wasn’t one, but there was an article about whether or not a fecal transplant would save us.
- Do Star Wars video games hold the same value as human fecal matter?