The MTV Movie Awards nominate either Channing Tatum or Seth Rogen for Best Shirtless Performance
The lights have been turned off, the red carpets have been rolled up, and the celebrities have retreated to their compounds, where they will either celebrate their victories or mourn their defeats with the help of expensive vaporizers and eye creams made from the blood of nigh-extinct flightless birds. The Oscars have been handed out, and awards season is finally over.
EXCEPT IT’S NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(“Let’s Get Ready To Rumble” begins playing)
The nominees for the 2015 MTV Movie Awards were announced today, and in keeping with its reputation as the fun, quirky awards show where anything can happen—particularly if that “anything” involves a movie for teens that made a lot of money—the show has made the bold and unexpected choice of nominating the unconventionally attractive Channing Tatum and Zac Efron for Best Shirtless Performance. It also somehow managed to both outdo the Oscars by nominating David Oyelowo and snub the 38-year-old stage and screen veteran by nominating him in the “Breakthrough Performance” category, an award he will almost certainly lose to 20-year-old Ansel Elgort.
The Breakthrough Performance nod was only one of the five nominations garnered by Elgort for his performance as an ex-basketball player and amputee who falls in love with cancer patient Shailene Woodley in The Fault In Our Stars. The only other nominee to receive that many honors was Seth Rogen, who between Neighbors and The Interview had a powerhouse year of middling comedies whose publicists have pull at MTV. Guardians Of The Galaxy, The Fault In Our Stars and Neighbors led the movie nominations with seven each, which sounds about right for an awards show that considers the natural process of childhood development an on-screen transformation comparable to Zoe Saldana’s makeup job in Guardians Of The Galaxy. It also has a category with the word “shit” in the name; okay, it bleeped out the “shit,” but we all knew it was there. Turn down for what?
(Male strippers perform amid a flurry of confetti and air horns. Cut to Rihanna, looking unimpressed.)
A full list of nominees is below.
Movie of the Year
American Sniper
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1
Guardians of the Galaxy
Gone Girl
The Fault In Our Stars
Boyhood
Whiplash
Selma
Best Female Performance
Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1
Emma Stone, Birdman
Shailene Woodley, The Fault In Our Stars
Reese Witherspoon, Wild
Scarlett Johansson, Lucy
Best Male Performance
Bradley Cooper, American Sniper
Chris Pratt, Guardians Of The Galaxy
Ansel Elgort, The Fault In Our Stars
Miles Teller, Whiplash
Channing Tatum, Foxcatcher
Best Scared-As-S**t Performance
Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl
Annabelle Wallis, Annabelle
Jennifer Lopez, The Boy Next Door
Dylan O’Brien, The Maze Runner
Zach Gilford, The Purge: Anarchy
Breakthrough Performance
Ansel Elgort, The Fault In Our Stars
Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl
David Oyelowo, Selma
Dylan O’Brien, The Maze Runner
Ellar Coltrane, Boyhood
Best Shirtless Performance
Zac Efron, Neighbors
Chris Pratt, Guardians Of The Galaxy
Channing Tatum, Foxcatcher
Ansel Elgort, The Fault In Our Stars
Kate Upton, The Other Woman
Best Duo
Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill, 22 Jump Street
Zac Efron and Dave Franco, Neighbors
Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort, The Fault In Our Stars
Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel, Guardians Of The Galaxy
James Franco and Seth Rogen, The Interview
Best Fight
Jonah Hill Vs. Jillian Bell, 22 Jump Street
Chris Evans Vs. Sebastian Stan, Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Dylan O’Brien Vs. Will Poulter, The Maze Runner
Seth Rogen Vs. Zac Efron, Neighbors
Edward Norton Vs. Michael Keaton, Birdman
Best Kiss
Ansel Elgort and Shailene Woodley, The Fault In Our Stars
James Franco and Seth Rogen, The Interview
Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans, Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Rose Byrne and Halston Sage, Neighbors
Best WTF Moment
Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne, Neighbors
Jonah Hill, 22 Jump Street
Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day, Horrible Bosses 2
Miles Teller, Whiplash
Rosario Dawson and Anders Holm, Top Five
Best Villain
Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl
J.K. Simmons, Whiplash
Jillian Bell, 22 Jump Street
Meryl Streep, Into The Woods
Peter Dinklage, X-Men: Days of Future Past
Best Musical Moment
Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1
Chris Pratt, Guardians Of The Galaxy
Seth Rogen and Zac Efron, Neighbors
Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig, The Skeleton Twins
Miles Teller, Whiplash
Best Comedic Performance
Channing Tatum, 22 Jump Street
Chris Pratt, Guardians Of The Galaxy
Rose Byrne, Neighbors
Chris Rock, Top Five
Kevin Hart, The Wedding Ringer
Best On-screen Transformation
Eddie Redmayne, The Theory Of Everything
Elizabeth Banks, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1
Zoe Saldana, Guardians Of The Galaxy
Steve Carell, Foxcatcher
Ellar Coltrane, Boyhood