The nation's Amanda Bynes lobby calls upon President Obama to fire the cop who arrested Amanda Bynes

As President Barack Obama fritters away his time with selfish campaigning and engineering his socialist utopia, the powerful Amanda Bynes lobby has called upon him to perform the duties demanded by the American electorate and intervene on behalf of Amanda Bynes' recent DUI arrest. Bynes—perhaps the nation's most vocal supporter of occasionally retired Hairspray actress Amanda Bynes—recently pleaded not guilty to an April 6 charge that she sideswiped a sheriff's car while under the influence, after which she refused a sobriety test. But seeing as Bynes has no faith in the judicial system, she called upon Obama to perform an executive action, tweeting, "Hey @BarackObama… I don't drink. Please fire the cop who arrested me. I also don't hit and run. The end." As of press time, Bynes is still slated to appear before a judge and President Obama had not yet responded to her entreaty, presumably because he is not interested in being reelected. [via Los Angeles Times]