The Night Beyonce Married A Wind Machine

The Night Beyonce Married A Wind Machine

When our children's children train their ocular feeds (our children's children will be sentient avatars) on the video cassette (sentient avatars who are really into retro) of the BET Awards of aught nine, they will look upon it not as an awards-show-turned-impromptu-Michael-Jackson-tribute, but as the historic night when Beyoncé donned a diaphanous uber-tutu, placed a tiara veil on the crown of her head, and finally married a wind machine.  The green diamond hovering over our children's children's heads will glow so brightly when they watch this artifact and think about all the descendents of Beyonce and the wind machine's bold union: namely the friendly wind machines with Beyonce-like faces, and the powerful Beyonces with wind machines instead of mouths.

A six-minute-long "Ave Maria"/"Angel" ballad medley sung by Beyoncé dressed as a life-size music-box ballerina/angel bride? Maybe she was paying tribute to Michael Jackson's weirdness? It's either that or she was marrying sorrow.

 
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