At least once every summer, a movie trailer comes out that is so violently formulaic, so aggressively unfunny that it throttles this thing known as comedy until it stops moving and lies slackjawed and motionless on screen. Since Friedberg & Seltzer (fortunately) don't have a fart-writing spectacle coming out for a while, this summer there's a new movie answer to the question, "What killed comedy?" This summer, the trailer for the Robin Williams/John Travolta "We have to raise kids together!?" movie-like thing, Old Dogs killed comedy. As far as Old Dogs is concerned, comedy is beyond dead. The only thing left to do now is mourn the loss by watching the Old Dogs trailer and cycling through the five stages of grief.
1. Denial.
"Eight seconds in, and Robin Williams already accidentally knocked some kid out with a soccer ball? This can't be real. No movie trailer gets that slapsticky that fast. This isn't happening."
2. Anger.
"Dan. Of course his name is Dan—EveryDude is too long. 'Meet Dan, he's a totally average guy whose life gets wrecked by zany-times!' And why is it always Robin Williams? Can't he stop thrusting mediocrity in our faces for one goddamn minute? He's the bright red clown nose filled with comedy poison that every movie needs!"
3. Bargaining.