Crimes
- Reducing Gilbert and Sullivan's The Pirates Of Penzance to mere background for the gratuitous display of Christopher Atkins' torso
- Peppering Gilbert and Sullivan songs with sassy new "contemporary" lyrics about The Beatles and The Rolling Stones
- Criminal overuse of gauzy soft-focus montages timed to treacly ballads
Defender: Director Ken Annakin, Anchor Bay producer Perry Martin
Tone of commentary: Doddering, absentminded, digressive, upbeat. The ancient Annakin seems to remember The Pirate Movie only fuzzily, which perfectly suits the wide-ranging interests of Martin, whose role can best be described as "old-coot wrangler." Martin quizzes Annakin at length about his long, distinguished career, doing his best to keep the director focused. That isn't always possible; late in the commentary, Annakin begins talking about how Amelia Earhart faked her death and returned to a life in the United States.
What went wrong: Annakin blames the film's commercial and critical failure on the presence/popularity of an infinitely more faithful TV version of The Pirates Of Penzance. He also blames writer Trevor Farrant, who spoke out against the film after it deviated from his script.
Comments on the cast: Annakin was so impressed by Atkins' work in The Blue Lagoon that he would sometimes ask him how a situation would be handled in that film. He also praises Kristy McNichol throughout, saying it's a shame she's apparently turned her back on acting to pursue a career as a hairstylist or something. (On this matter, as on many others, Annakin is fuzzy.)
Inevitable dash of pretension: Annakin seems chagrined that critics unfavorably compare his teenybopper romance to other versions of Pirates Of Penzance.
Commentary in a nutshell: Annakin: "[Earhart] came back to America and lived for 20 years in New Jersey, and I've got the proof of that." Martin: "Well, that's very interesting."