The plot of the Britney Spears musical has fucking nothing to do with Britney Spears

Are you a person who sits comfortably at the intersection of “Britney Spears stan” and “musical theater nerd?” Have you quietly longed for a gut-wrenching ballad that properly encapsulates the infamous head-shaving incident of 2007, or a heart-pounding dance number befitting of the pop icon’s love affair with Justin Timberlake? Well, get ready: The upcoming Britney Spears jukebox musical doesn’t have shit to do with any of that. Actually, the plot is way stranger than any of the highly publicized details of her life.

The musical comedy, currently titled Once Upon A One More Time, will tell the story of a book club consisting of Snow White, Repunzel, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. When the women long for new reading material, a fairy godmother appears to provide them with a suitable replacement for their well-worn copies of Grimms’ fairy tales – Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique.

“These women have been in this hermetically sealed world, and then they start to get deeper into modern ideas — second and third-wave feminism — and also explore how stories are passed down to us, and where we get our norms from,” explains book writer Jon Hartmere. “But it’s also super fun and funny.”

The score includes 23 songs from Spears’ expansive catalog, per Hartmere, which will involve a mix of known hits and deeper cuts. Kristin Hanggi (“Rock Of Ages”) is set to direct while dance duo Keone and Mari Madrid will choreograph. Once Upon A One More Time is scheduled to start previews Oct. 29, to open Nov. 13, and to run until Dec. 1 at the James M. Nederlander Theater in Chicago, replacing the previously slated Michael Jackson musical Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough, which scrapped its Chicago plans just before the explosive HBO documentary Leaving Neverland.

So while we might not get a glitter-fueled reimagining of Spears’ Vegas residency, we could very well get a fairy godmother advising Sleeping Beauty to “Work Bitch,” which is just as compelling.

[Via The New York Times]