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The Righteous Gemstones season 3 finale: This miraculous two-episode sendoff feels like payday

Prepare for plague, redemption, Bible Bonkers, and those glorious Cousins Night vibes

The Righteous Gemstones season 3 finale: This miraculous two-episode sendoff feels like payday
John Goodman Photo: Jakes Giles Netter (HBO)

From The Foot Fist Way through Vice Principals Danny McBride and collaborators Jody Hill and David Gordon Green solidified an archetypal man drunk on unearned confidence and vomiting grievance at the slightest inconvenience. With Vice Principals, though, his prickliest show to date, McBride’s characters got nastier, and the lines between good and bad taste got hazier. At every turn, McBride asks, Can you empathize with this person? But he never does so without heart. He balances obscenity and emotionality by creating tension between Neal Gamby or Kenny Powers and those who love them. Those are the stakes. These characters don’t want to disappoint the good people in their lives.

With The Righteous Gemstones, McBride invests heavier in the surrounding characters. The ensemble is larger and stranger, but their connection is undeniably stronger. The alienation of Powers and Gamby isn’t present in Jesse Gemstone. Jesse doesn’t lose his fortune or his wife. Every season, he starts at the top and ends even higher. In a material sense, the stakes are lower this season (does anyone care if the Gemstones Three lose the church or Dusty Daniels’ endorsement?), so the show leans harder on emotion, heightening the interpersonal stakes within the family. After eight episodes of characters forced to imagine a world without their partners, writers McBride, John Carcieri, and Jeff Fradley, and director Jody Hill bring it all back home.

‌GRADE FOR SEASON 3, EPISODE 9, “WONDERS THAT CANNOT BE FATHOMED, MIRACLES THAT CANNOT BE COUNTED”: A-


We see the focus on emotion immediately. Standing in contrast to last season’s vomit-sesh, the slow-motion reunion of “I Will Take You By The Hand And Keep You” is a tender sequence, emphasizing the importance of these relationships and reestablishing what was almost lost. On the soundtrack, the Milk Carton Kids’ “Younger Years” harkens to the episode title and one of the primary motifs of the season. “Oh, I held out my arms,” the band sings, evoking the episode’s title and the “hands-in-hands” scene to come. But it also speaks to Jesse’s feelings of betrayal. He held out his arms, and his father didn’t pay the ransom.

As Jesse says, Eli would make a piss-poor poker player, muchacho, because he was working on faith, hoping the old Peter would prevail. Ironically, this is the one time the Gemstones don’t use their vast wealth and influence to solve a problem. Though the three blame Eli for their delayed rescue, Jesse, Judy, and Kelvin show a new side of their personality: the capacity for forgiveness—even if they’re weaponizing it to get back at their daddy. Eli, who once imagined a future selling the buckets Kelvin recently pooed in, found the one thing he wouldn’t shell out for, and the kids know it. Forgiving Eli becomes the emotional crux of the episode as we see a series of apologies and reconciliations on the Gemstone side and a collapsing community with the Brothers of Tomorrow’s Fires.

Set on the roadsides and underpasses of the American South, Peter and the Brothers roam highways like a caravan on the way to a January 6 meet-up. However, left with nothing but their cars, some weapons, and a stockpile of explosives, Peter’s lack of leadership skills reveals his weakness. Without the ransom money promised, Tomorrow’s Fires have all but been extinguished; and as Peter’s control slips, a power vacuum forms, leaving the group open for mutiny.

Peter’s inability to reassert his power is the flipside of the Gemstones’ A-plot. Breaking up the scenes of militia disputes, Eli and May-May reconcile over a mutual appreciation for having someone in their lives who doesn’t blow smoke. Meanwhile, Peter is blowing smoke, telling his men he has a plan when he doesn’t. Instead, he’s getting into petty shouting matches with Marshall (played by country star Sturgill Simpson) about who is and isn’t a woman.

The Gemstones are way past all that, and we see each one making up with their partner. With Judy and B.J. in the bath and Kelvin and Keefe at the massage table, we watch them acknowledge their jealousy, insecurity, and fear regarding Taryn and Stephen. Keefe doesn’t have the words, but B.J. clarifies: “We’re allowed to make mistakes just as long as we have each other’s back.” If only the Brothers Of Tomorrow’s Fires could adopt that philosophy.

There’s such a strange alchemy in this show. McBride’s comedy has always been dark, gross, and highly sexual, but he finds emotional pockets in all the unexpected male nudity. A scene where Judy roleplays as a father who must stop his son’s helicopter penis with her mouth can be romantic and warm as well as hilarious and strange. It’s not sentimental like the Farrelly brothers are, but it walks that line. The emotional core of these scenes remains clear among the perverse humor.

Despite the gray chops, Jesse hasn’t totally reformed. He buys his wife and kids new four-wheel ATVs to apologize. Still, Jesse might apologize with his wallet first, but his sentiments toward Amber feel genuine and establish the next episode’s theme. He was a shitty, unsupportive partner, and the only way forward was through respect for Amber.

The apology tour gives the family a reset, and the Gemstones Three break bread in a place they’ve never been: Jason’s Steakhouse during the week. Enjoying the type of family bonding that should’ve come when they were held hostage, the Gemstones learn the beauty of holding hands. Whether they know it or not, “hands-on” and “hands-in-hands” are excellent metaphors for the type of organization they ran before and the one they hope to become. Hands-on-hands offers a top-down approach, likely with Jesse on top, that breaks apart when raised. At Jason’s, though, the siblings raise their interlocked hands above their heads triumphantly as Judy wonders if her brothers orgasmed. Again, it’s a weird show.

Patriarchs have a hard time at this stage in the series, but Eli recognizes something in his kids that eludes Peter. When Eli stands trial for refusing to pay, the kids work as a team in chastising him, rejecting his apologies and explanations as sentimental hogwash. Through their spiritual advisor, Uncle Baby Billy, they cast their father out of their lives, essentially claiming the Gemstone ministry for themselves, and Eli couldn’t be prouder to see them working together and owning the role. However, Peter cannot allow Marshall to take over and go on protesting monuments. Nor can he tell them that they will blow up the Salvation Center. In the end, he turns them in.

Whether the siblings won against their dad doesn’t matter because they can finally play the victim. Their status as abductees gives them renewed confidence, with Kelvin taking one of the most genuine risks of his life by kissing Keefe. It is a remarkable step that the show seemed to avoid for three seasons, and its payoff could immediately be felt in McBride’s excited expression and Tim Baltz’s proud nod. This is a new era for the Gemstones, one where they support their partners, and their dad watches on with pride.

“I Will Take You By The Hand And Keep You” reaches some of the series’ highest highs, with the performances, music, and direction reveling in a new normal for the family. For the first time, possibly since Jesse joined Gideon’s mission trip, the family is fulfilling God’s message in their own way. They truly become the Righteous Gemstones, a marker that will last at least through the finale.

The proper season finale, “Wonders That Cannot Be Fathomed, Miracles That Cannot Be Counted,” offers just that: wonders and miracles. With the episode’s centerpiece being a literal act of God, The Righteous Gemstones finally lives up to its name and then some. And by miracle, of course, I’m talking about the filming of Baby Billy’s Bible Bonkers. Seemingly holding out hope that his niece and nephews would come through on the full-series pickup, Billy pulls his trump card. He’s friends with Dusty Daniels and offers him up as a prize on Bible Bonkers if the Gemstones can beat the Simkins.

The Simkins rivalry turned out to be a red herring this season. Representing a corporatized, Bizarro version of the Gemstones, the Simkins showed up in the first episode, out-classed our millionaire underdogs, and disappeared. Before facing these aspirational figures, Jesse, Judy, and Kelvin had to prove their worth by getting their house in order. They needed to be humbled, and by mixing it up with the Montgomerys, they were.

Tonight, all roads led to Bible Bonkers, including Peter’s. After snitching on his militia, Peter and Chuck hit the road, stopping off at a Coinstar so Peter could collect his final $12. In a quick but effective scene, Lukas Haas and Steve Zahn share a very human, loving moment that sets up the episode’s final beats. Peter is a tough character. It’s hard to sympathize with the white nationalist terror he represents, especially after the last few years of militias trying to overthrow the government. But Zahn finds a sympathetic center through his love for Chuck, showing again how McBride grabs emotionality through flawed characters loving each other. So when the truck blows, we already have feelings for Peter.

This is also a moment to get back on Chuck’s side. The episode devotes two scenes to his forgiveness. There’s the family apology, in which we see Kelvin and Judy’s forgiveness skills again, and then a solo apology for Jesse on the Go Kart track. I’m not sure we needed both, but it’s a helpful reminder of the divide between the family. Jesse owns an empty theme park, and the last of Chuck’s belongings went up with his father’s truck.

With the Gemstones and the Montgomerys realigned, Bible Bonkers is a sure thing. They’re so confident that when Baby Billy leaves the cards with the answers, Jesse wipes his cooties all over them—mostly because he can’t symbolically tear them in two. He doesn’t need to because Walton Goggins rips the Gemstones Studios a new one with the opening number.

And let’s get it out of the way. Bible Bonkers absolutely deserves the full-season pickup. Set to Aunt Tiffany’s beautiful, ever-so-slightly altered version of the Feud theme, Billy owns the stage, living his supposed lifelong dream of hosting a game show. He tells awful jokes about how expensive wood is these days and holds a skinny microphone. He was made for this. This is the payday Billy’s been waiting for.

While the Gemstones get their butts handed to them by the Simkins and two adolescent ringers, outside Peter stands between Eli, May-May, and Gideon and a new bomb poised to blow the studio sky high. As May-May fails to convince Peter to cease with the plan, she says, “You know this isn’t what Christ would want.” Peter’s response, in retrospect of the miraculous events about to unfold, feels prophetic. “I don’t know what Christ wants these days,” he says. “But one thing I do know is he always has the Gemstones back.”

Even without the swarm of locusts hellbent on showing everyone what’s really important, Peter has a point. His frustration grew out of jealousy and resentment, crushed by the knowledge that no matter how hard he worked, he’ll never have the comfort or security the Gemstones’ wealth affords them. He even turned to crime, much like Eli, to secure it. But Jesus rewards Eli’s misdeeds. He punished Peter.

Almost in response to Peter’s line, The Righteous Gemstones goes biblical when a black cloud of locust fills the sky as if billowing from Hell’s fires. As the locusts turn Bible Bonkers into the eighth plague of Egypt, each Gemstone seeks out their family members. Baby Billy’s giant face falls from the set and squishes a man’s head like a grape while Jesse seeks Amber and his kids; Kelvin finds Keefe; Judy reunites with B.J.; and even Billy grabs Tiffany and Lionel. The Montgomerys also come together as a family for the first time all season. And the coup de grâce: Jesse braves the bugs for his daddy. It’s as if this were a more meaningful test of faith than Billy’s quiz.

When the bugs cleared, Vance Simkins failed the test, losing out on the Dusty deal due to his cowardice. May-May and Peter learn the lesson, though. Family requires support and trust, and May-May did not support Peter. It’s a happy ending until the final locust lands on Peter’s hand, and he tears off the deadman’s switch to shoo it away. Realizing that he activated the bomb, he drives off in the van to save the family from the explosion. With Joseph Stephens’ theme playing in the background, it’s surprisingly moving to hear Peter yell, “For tomorrow’s fires!” But that’s the kind of magic the show can muster, finding emotion by treating these caricatures like real people with real pain and love.

The season gets quite an epilogue. Dusty Daniels is lowered into the ground inside his stock car (whooweee, sucker). Kelvin and Keefe understand how they’re projecting their insecurities onto others, choosing to stop busting smut. Finally, we see the family, including Peter, taking turns in the Redeemer as the ghost of Aimee-Leigh watches proudly. The Gemstones are redeemed, with each getting a turn at the wheel. It’s a far more upbeat finale than I imagined, especially after season two. With Dolly Parton wailing Collective Soul’s “Shine,” the family finds common ground in the spectacle of a truck with humongous wheels. The scene brings the season to a close on a joyous note, reminding us that even the darkest comedies can have moments of light.

Stray observations

  • Kelvin made it official: Peter is “the worst uncle ever.”
  • “Damn-ass lil’ daddy! I’m so sick of you.”
  • Judy’s two imaginary husbands: Ryan Phillippe and Savion Glover, the tap dancer.
  • “Our father, Elijah, doesn’t love us anymore.”
  • “Baby Billy, you ain’t no damn lawyer.”
    “I was a paralegal once in another life, for your information.”
  • For one second, I thought Gemstones booked Gene Hackman. His final appearance would no longer be that episode of Diners, Drive-Ins And Dives, but this gratuitous orgy with characters named “Uncle Baby Billy” and “The Slick Bandit” Dusty Daniels. Alas, it was just some guy who looked like him, sort of.
  • Peter’s reaction to his Coinstar payoff was one of the most relatable moments I have seen on television.
  • “Are we doing chuckles, boys?”
  • “I’m so proud of you. Now go cheat.”
  • Cassidy Freeman has some of the best reaction shots of the night, but her response to Judy yelling, “It’s okay—he’s my uncle,” was the funniest of the lot.
  • The Wilhelm Scream as Jody Hill dove over a railing during the swarm was perfection.
  • I’m still not totally sure why May-May blamed Amiee Leigh over Eli for what happened in 2000. It feels a little bit like something was cut out of the season.
  • Hallelujah, Gemstones was picked up for a fourth season. It seems inevitable that it will focus on Jesse dealing with Gideon as Eli’s apprentice. But more than anything, the fourth season has to deal with Kelvin, his sexuality, and how the church reacts to it.
  • That’s a wrap on this season of The Righteous Gemstones. After last season’s darker, action-heavy approach, I thought this was an intelligent zag. This worked, too, creating an emotionally resonant season that rewards rewatching.

 
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