The Simpsons cast will make $300,000 per episode
It was big news yesterday for Simpsons fans, as the show confirmed that all original cast members—including Harry Shearer, who had very publicly quit earlier this year—would be returning to the show. Thus, it will be quite some time before we have to worry about the possibility of it sounding like Ned Flanders has a perpetual cold, or whatever other mental backflips we would go through to accept replacement voice actors in our minds. Despite what looked like a somewhat acrimonious split to the outside world, it wasn’t clear the precise causes for either the departure or the return. (Shearer had claimed it was over freedom to pursue other jobs; Al Jean countered with the suggestion that that was misleading at best.) But coming back makes sense for at least 300,000 reasons—per episode, no less.
The Guardian reports Shearer and the rest of the cast have signed four-season contracts worth $300,00 an episode, an amount that buys a lot of gorilla-chest vests and puppy-fur tuxedos. Of course, the four-season contract shouldn’t be taken too literally—as of now, FOX has re-upped the show for a 27th and 28th season. That will take the total number of episodes to more than 600, meaning you won’t have to worry about ever doing anything ever again, because The Simpsons has already done it for you. Frankly, we’re just happy Shearer is back. Trying to leave the greatest cartoon of all time? That’s a paddlin’.