After Universal released a poster heavily implying teddy-bear masturbation, we assumed that the trailer for Ted 2 would be an extended dick joke. (Like, a dick joke that goes on for a while, not a joke about…forget it.) But much to our surprise, the trailer takes a full 33 seconds to get around to mentioning how funny it is to tug on your ding-dong. And save for the aforementioned sequence, which takes place at a sperm bank, the Ted 2 trailer manages to avoid jokes about ding-dongs, or hoo-has, or boobies for that matter, focusing instead on a plot line about Ted legally proving he’s human so he and his wife Tammi-Lynn (Jessica Barth) can become parents. Ted even wears a suit on three separate occasions—once at his wedding, once in a musical number, and once in court, where Amanda Seyfried appears as the person who really should be too good for this sort of thing. (Ditto Morgan Freeman.)
So with Mark Wahlberg seeking a pardon for hate crimes he committed when he was just a young chowdahead, and Seth MacFarlane nominated for an Oscar for Best Original Song for the last Ted, we ask: are Boston’s finest losing their edge? Of course, this is just the trailer, and there’s still plenty of time for MacFarlane to insert some rape jokes before Ted 2 hits theaters on June 26.