The screenplay for The Whole Nine Yards is a marvel of cinematic efficiency: Every scene falls into the category of either exposition or payoff. Sure, there isn't a lot to Mitchell Kapner's screenplay other than efficiency—it isn't the least bit funny, and none of its characters register as anything beyond devices to move the plot along—but, hey, you can't have everything. Matthew Perry, in standard hapless-straight-man form, stars as a dentist married to a hideous shrew (a shrill Rosanna Arquette, adopting a rare bad French-Canadian accent), but whose unhappy existence takes an interesting turn when a notorious hitman (Bruce Willis, in amiable-tough-guy mode) moves next door. Through a ridiculously contrived series of plot machinations, Perry assumes a central role in the bitter feud between Willis and powerful mobster Kevin Pollak, who wants Willis and his estranged wife (Natasha Henstridge) dead so he can collect $10 million. In good comedies, the plot serves the characters, not the other way around. In The Whole Nine Yards, the characters are slaves to the plot, and personalities and motivations change on a dime to suit its needs. It's nothing if not kinetic: The plot whirs constantly, but like the Rube Goldberg contraption it often resembles, the end result isn't worth the trouble.