As fans of The CW’s actually pretty good Riverdale know, it’s totally possible to make Archie Comics sexy. Just slap some abs on the titular redhead, and then play up the whole “Betty and Veronica are fighting over Archie” storyline. That’s pretty much what’s happening on Riverdale—plus a pretty hacky “Archie fucks his teacher” storyline—and it’s surprisingly compelling.
Now Pornhub is seeking to up the ante even more with Beaverdale, a porn parody of the aforementioned Riverdale. Produced by WoodRocket Productions—makers of porn parodies like Hamiltoe, Game Of Bones: Winter Is Cumming, and Full Holes—Beaverdale is actually a full-length film, meaning viewers will be able to watch 90 full minutes of a musclebound Jughead and a way-too-blond Betty going at it. While further plot details aren’t available, Pornhub VP Corey Price, said in a press release that he “can confirm that Archie is finally able to live out his (wet) dream of a threesome with Betty and Veronica,” so that’s definitely happening. Good luck scrubbing that image from your mind now.
Beaverdale is available now on Pornhub Premium. If you want to check out the product before you fork over the $9.99 a month to find out what liquids are going to be spewed all over Pop’s Chock’Lit Shoppe, there are two safe for work trailers below.