In his relentless quest to bring viewers the worst and weirdest that video games have to offer, reviewer Jon Jafari has devoted the latest episode of his popular JonTron webseries to some bootleg games based on classic Walt Disney films. These games, principally from China, are as shameless and baffling as they are frustrating. One phony Lion King game seems to be based more on The Jungle Book and includes “The Bare Necessities” on the soundtrack. Another, mysteriously titled Lion King 5, has Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa committing suicide whenever they lose. And then there’s the final round, in which Simba rides atop a blimp adorned with a swastika. “The final boss was confronting the Nazi inside all of us,” Jafari concludes. A bootleg Mulan game goes on a sci-fi tangent, with the title character somehow winding up on “Snow Planet.” One of the most amusing finds in the video is the incredibly amateurish Snow White And The 7 Clever Boys, an honest-to-god, licensed PlayStation 2 game. One wonders how this game, in which one of the characters is an embarrassing racial stereotype, ever made it through any quality control process.
The greatest revelation here, however, is a site called Dress Up Who, where fans can play hundreds of unauthorized mini-games based on Frozen and other properties, Disney and otherwise. As Jafari points out, things get incredibly bizarre and even nauseating here, even though the games are ostensibly made for young girls. The site’s relentless pink color scheme is seriously at odds with such gross-out games as Pregnant Elsa Foot Check-Up, Elsa Frozen Brain Surgery, and Elsa’s Zombie Baby. All are real. All are (theoretically) playable. Those who decide to dig through the Dress Up Who archives for themselves will discover that pregnancy is a recurring theme throughout these bootleg Frozen games, with Elsa and Anna both getting knocked up repeatedly. Meanwhile, Disney recently announced that it was getting out of the video game business. Any future games based on their films would be licensed out to other companies. Perhaps the future, then, of Disney gaming is in titles like Anna Throat Doctor and Anna Cesarean Birth. Or, then again, maybe not.