These are the sharp terrible things found in Halloween candy this year

Every Halloween, news outlets are quick to remind us that no one actually puts razor blades and poison into Halloween candy. It all traces back to a single man, the story goes: Ronald Clark O’Bryan, who poisoned a bunch of Pixy Stix back in 1974 and screwed things up for everybody.

But maybe all those reminders about how it’s not a thing made some monsters think that, hey, maybe it could be a thing. Because the news is positively brimming with reports (and photos) of sharp objects hiding in hunks of chocolate. For example:

  • In New Jersey, police are investigating reports of a needle found inside a Tootsie roll.
  • A 12-year old boy in Marysville, Washington found a small, sharp nail in a Snickers bar.
  • In the Pennsylvania suburb of Shamokin, a 35-year old man is accused of dropping a hunting-style knife into the trick-or-treat basket of a three-year old boy.
  • Police in Maryland are investigating a needleless syringe mixed in with a child’s candy.
  • An Arizona family allegedly found full-size razor blade wedged into a Snickers bar.
  • What’s next? Drugs? Maybe! Now that recreational marijuana edibles are legal in select states, authorities are urging parents to sniff out any pot-infused treats.

While some or all of these reports may turn out to be hoaxes (others already have), you’ll probably want to keep searching your kids’ trick-or-treat bags. In any case, stop it, dickheads.

 
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