For the new issue of Vanity Fair Bruce Willis was photographed by Annie Leibovitz, a photographer so talented she managed to capture Willis' nagging need to make up for his perceived shortcomings in nearly every frame, creating a striking album full of portraits of overcompensation. Things Bruce Willis Totally Does Not Have A Problem With (as photographed for Vanity Fair) 1. Aging.
Is there any better way to indicate that you are still a viable action movie hero than doing wheelies on a motorcycle in the desert? Because, you know, if there is a better way, Bruce Willis will totally do that too.
He's trying so hard in this picture you can almost hear him thinking, "Who's over the hill now, suckers? Woooo! Bruce Willis is going to live forever!"
2. Showing his quiet, pensive side.
Walking along the beach alone? Clearly indicates quiet introspection. Walking along the beach alone while wearing a killer hat
and a sarong? Quiet introspection to the max, mixed with fun, and then smothered with cool. That's the Bruce Willis style. 3. Ashton Kutcher.
Just your average, everyday ex-husband and current husband hanging out on a boat, while one of them is wearing a wetsuit, and the other is wearing his most natural-looking smile mask.
4. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore's relationship.
"What? Oh, they're making out? Ha ha ha. Get a room, guys! Or, don't, because I totally don't care. I couldn't be more indifferent. Now if I could just get this stupid fish into the godamn boat..Grr!"
Next time your ex-wife and her current husband are making out mere inches away from you during your
Vanity Fair photo shoot, just yawn. That one small gesture can easily communicate the mountains of indifference you clearly feel.