This fall's hottest game guides you through a duck's labyrinthian vagina
As a society, we spend an absurd amount of time talking about penises. Even at this very site, we’ve shared childhood-ruining studies confirming the existence (and size!) of Mario and Luigi’s animated members. Last year, however, our interest was piqued by a story about the difficulties of bringing a dolphin vagina onto an airplane, and now, with the release of the VR Duck Genitalia Explorer, our gaze has officially pivoted. Sure, it’s weird and kind of cool that pigs have corkscrew dicks, but the vaginas of muscovy ducks are as twisty and claustrophobic as a Doom level. As writer Samantha Cole puts it in this Motherboard article, the new app wandering these dank, fertile halls is “like the Magic School Bus, but for the inside of a waterfowl.”
VR Duck Genitalia Explorer, an Android app that whisks you on a whimsical journey through a muscovy duck vagina, was designed by science educator Jules Howard and biological sciences professor Patricia Brennan, the latter of whom also narrates the proceedings. “I think apps like this one can really serve two functions: one is to really allow folks to visualize complex structures that may be too difficult to grasp with 2-D, and two, to get people who normally may not be interested in science, to start asking questions about interesting biological phenomena by stepping in the VR novelty,” Brennan told Motherboard, making the obvious, yet understated, point point that, yes, folks are much more likely to pay attention when genitalia is involved.
Howard says the app features “a lovable duck” and a “rollercoaster ride through a model of a Muscovy duck vagina.” He also made the case for the app in an incredible Twitter thread, writing that “the internet is full to the rafters with animal penis stories, popular science pieces about animal penises and listicles about animal penises. It’s a bit depressing.” He emphasized that “the science of animal vaginas is incredible,” adding that “for every interesting penis there is likely to be an interesting vagina.”
But what of the experience? Motherboard explains it thusly:
I’m faced with a cavernous greyish path ahead of me, propelled forward with red arrows through the vag like I’m on a rollercoaster. The inside of a duck feels a bit claustrophobic, but Brennan soothingly tells me that what I’m seeing are a series of blind turns, followed by spirals. There’s a pouch in the entrance that the male penis must navigate around, but most times, the penis gets stuck at this impasse, giving the female more control about who impregnates her.
I’m proud of this duck, actually. Each twist and turn inside this labyrinthine reproductive system is a new challenge, to be met only by the most worthy mate.
It’s waiting for you in the Google Play store. Android users can download it here.