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Dearest AV Club Readers:
This will be the last pop culture love letter for a while, because I am leaving to pursue a new, humbling, and exciting opportunity and The Hater blog and column will be going on hiatus.
In case the haunting voice, flowing white silk pirate angel costume, and barely intelligible lyrics of the IAmAngelica.com ad posted above didn't fill you with the appropriate melancholy, please gaze upon this sad relic of pop culture past:
Four years ago, I ended my very first Hater column as anyone obsessed with hammerhead sharks would: By posting a picture of Star Jones in a bathing suit. It was a proud day. My parents called to ask, "What's a hater?" I still smile just thinking about it.
From that Hater to this, I regret nothing. That picture was not a gratuitous celebrity beach photo, and it advanced the plot of my first Hater post. But if, let's say hypothetically, I were to regret something, it would probably be that I didn't find more occasions to post pictures of hammerhead sharks in bathing suits.
So how do you thank someone who's taken you from Star Jones bathing suit photos to BK Mimosas and awful Judd Apatow spoofs? It isn't easy, but I'll try.
For you, dear readers, I've consumed Sex & The City-themed beverages at a Houlihan's in Penn Station. I've read Esquire. I've thought, a lot, about the inner workings of James Cameron's mind. I've attended a Jared Leto Q & A. I've read almost every awful trend piece in existence. I watched Britain's Worst Teeth, Millionaire Matchmaker, and The Secret (the teeth documentary was definitely the most enjoyable). I discovered Yola and identified something known as Ke$ha. I figured out how to freak minds. I went to an 11am screening of Zach Braff's Face Is Made Of Feelings. I listened to "Daughters."
True, I probably would have done most of this stuff anyway, but it was more fun doing it for you. Thank you all for reading, and don't worry: I plan to continue with Tolerability Index, and I hope to keep hating at some point in some form. Until then, keep refreshing this page and storing your rage.
Amelie