This is not a metaphor: Bald eagles fight, fall into Floridians’ shit

Earlier this morning, ABC News reported that two bald eagles got stuck in a storm grate in Central Florida. At first it looked like one eagle was attempting to help free the other; authorities later determined it was because the two birds had been fighting in the sky over territory.

It is perhaps pedantic to clarify how directly this works as a metaphor for the current American political climate, in which two competing visions for the country’s future recently waged war and in so doing fell into a morass of shit. “I see two eagles just fighting in the sky and then they just drop into the drain,” one onlooker says to ABC News, definitely about a literal thing that occurred in front of him and not as an elaborate metaphor for the tense existential despair keeping half of America in bed, scrolling through the blue-light hell of the internet.

As UpRoxx notes, this dazzlingly available metaphor also occurred to nearly every other human being who came across it. Twitter users, ever hungry to be the first to make a droll jab, fell over themselves on the way to it. Here is the actual first tweet, appropriately enough from an egg:

Here is the same joke, several more times.

The injured eagles are being treated by veterinarians, and are expected to be fine. If you would like to see the same joke about them many more times, please visit Twitter.com.

 
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