This Week In Terrifying Hybrids 1. Diane Keaton + Mandy Moore + Lauren Graham – All Dignity + a trailer that prominently features the song "Unwritten" = Because I Said So
Ughhhh. "Mom, come on. Why are you wearing Mom panties to the gym? You're only 60."
Have you ever felt worse for Diane Keaton than you do right now? I mean, there was Something's Gotta Give, but at least the poster for that abomination didn't look like an outtake from the zany opening credit sequence of a sitcom about a mom and a daughter who somehow end up sharing a studio apartment in the big city:
2. A Sofa On The Street + Therapy In Public + Exploiting the feelings of people nice enough to talk to you = Kleenex's "Let It Out" Campaign
It's one thing to shampoo people's hair on the street with half Head-And-Shoulders half something else, or to make them apply Dove deodorant on the sidewalk. But having a sensitive bald guy make passersby sit down and tell stories that make them cry, so that their personal anecdotes can then be edited into a touching memory montage set to some whiny song in order to sell Kleenex? Not only is that wrong, it's incredibly, monumentally annoying.
Of course, if those passersby are getting residuals, or if they're actors, then I take it all back (except for the incredibly, monumentally annoying part). 3. Angelina Jolie + Jennifer Aniston + Star magazine's unfailing ability to create the most ridiculous stories = Jengelina
(Thanks to
Popbytes for the image)
The good thing about Star's stories is that they are all grounded in reality–it's just very a different reality. Jennifer Aniston did get a nosejob recently to correct a previously botched deviated septum surgery. Most people wouldn't immediately think to cover that story by photoshopping Angelina Jolie and Aniston's faces together, but, then again, most people don't have the editorial vision of a schizophrenic shut-in who is surrounded by five TVs that are all constantly broadcasting E! Entertainment Televison.
Still, you have to admire a magazine where the answer to "What do we have on pages 47-48?" can be, "I don't know. Let's photoshop something."