A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
HBO’s endlessly fascinating Scientology documentary, Going Clear. Part religious history, part sci-fi, part horror movie, all scary.
Bravo’s Southern Charm. Sure, it’s mainly about people getting drunk in the heat and pretending they’re not drunk or hot, but that’s the recipe for a perfect reality show.
CBS’s miniseries, The Dovekeepers. Nothing says “it’s 2015” like a four-hour miniseries about side characters in the Bible stretched over two nights on network TV.
Cheez-It’s thoroughly unnecessary Cheez-It Crunch’d. The whole point of the Cheez-It is to be able to eat a salty, cheese-flavored snack without the bright orange cheese-dust of shame.
The Kids’ Choice Awards, hosted by former kid star, Nick Jonas. It’s great that we’re empowering kids to make important choices like who gets to take home the orange blimp statue for “coolest actor.”
NBC’s airing of the least anticipated award show ever, the iHeartRadio Music Awards. Turns out, getting your song played on the radio over and over again until it’s burrowed deep into the exhaustion centers of every American’s brain isn’t enough. You also deserve an award!
National Geographic’s biblical melodrama by noted anti-historian Bill O’Reilly, Killing Jesus. It’s the best TV movie about the crucifixion ever written by a guy who sells his own line of doormats.