The semi-annual return of The Bachelor. Can a walking, talking cardboard cutout grow a personality in time to figure out which pile of sequins is there for the right reasons?
The People’s Choice Awards. The awards season kicks off with an award show so inane, no one can be bothered to make a pool for it. It’s obvious who should win “Favorite Social Media Star,” anyway: No one.
ABC’s thoroughly unnecessary diet showdown show, My Diet Is Better Than Yours. A phrase that has literally never been said aloud is now a TV show! For some reason!
The return of the Long Island Medium. Every winter, she pops her hair helmet out of her hole, and pretends to see ghosts so that she can exploit grieving families for fun and profit.
Oprah’s pandering ads for Weight Watchers. Oprah struggles with her weight just like you. And she’s going to buy up a ton of shares of Weight Watchers stock and then go on Weight Watchers. Just. Like. You. (You did that too, right?)
