A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
The deliciously melodramatic record industry soap opera, Empire. Any show that has a regular named “Cookie” and guest stars Courtney Love in its first season is a show worth watching.
Chappie. Finally, a movie brave enough to ask the question: “What if Johnny 5 were South African?”
The Scandal-inspired collection at The Limited. It’ll have to do while the nation waits for the Scandal-inspired collection at Wig World.
The Oscars. This is the one magical night of the year that E! is considered a legitimate news source, and E!’s mani-cam is considered a legitimate camera.
The semi-annual return of The Voice. Again? Don’t the chairs need to rest? We have more than enough semi-professional karaoke yell-singers, so no need to rush.
New York Fashion Week. If a baby (named after two directions) can get front-row seats, it’s about as exclusive as a Raffi matinee.
The return of 19 Kids And Counting. Does it really count as a megachurch if it’s just one grossly oversized family that attends services?