A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
The return of Bravo’s modern-day version of Downton Abbey, Below Deck. Finally, a show brave enough to investigate the question: “Who is worse, the people who charter a yacht, or the people who work on the yacht?”
Into The Storm. Final Destination + Twister = a sentient, bloodthirsty storm that will kill you in an inventive, possibly ironic way if you try to run.
The Hundred-Foot Journey being advertised as “From Oprah Winfrey and Steven Spielberg.” Calm down. It’s a gentle star-crossed love story that takes place in Paris and stars Helen Mirren. Every mom in America is gonna go see it regardless of the O stamp of approval.
Zac Posen, Project Runway judge. Come on, Lifetime. You can’t replace Michael Kors with a whiny, wooden, semi-animated ventriloquist’s dummy.
McDonald’s “nom nom nom” ads for the Jalepeño Double burger. Nothing tastes better than a seven-year-old meme, covered in jalepeños, and drenched in Ranch dressing.
The completely unnecessary return of The Killing on Netflix. “Reviving The Killing on Netflix,” is the new “beating a dead horse.” Please just let The Killing die.
Sarah Palin’s subscription-only vanity project, SarahPalinChannel.com. For $9.95 a month, you get the privilege of her viewing her vlog; for an extra $100, she’ll record your outgoing message; and if you throw her $1000, she’ll sign your chest and/or guest-bartend your kid’s sweet 16.