A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
Beyoncé’s spectacular “Formation.” No one makes cool music videos anymore except Beyoncé, who makes all the cool music videos in one video.
Trailers for the live-action version of The Jungle Book. Remember all those fun, adorable cartoon animals from the original? Now they’re frighteningly realistic CGI predators in perilously close proximity to a real little boy in his underwear!
Kate Hudson’s thoroughly unnecessary Fabletics catalogue/book-esque thing, Pretty Happy: Healthy Ways To Love Your Body. Celebrities don’t have real lives. They have lifestyle books.
The return of TV’s most exhausting melodrama, Scandal. Once your main character has sported a look that can only be called “hostage realness chic,” it’s hard for the show to bounce back to semi-sanity.
Mountain Dew’s “triple threat”: The juice plus Dew plus caffeine neon nightmare, Kickstart. Pretty sure the only way to make Mountain Dew more revolting is to drink it with juice.
The Grammys. If Pitbull performs after the cast of Hamilton, and no one wants to hear it, does he still make a sound? Unfortunately, yes.
Taco Bell’s latest fried Franken-taco, the Quesalupa. It’s a chalupa wrapped in a fried quesadilla wrapped in the flimsy notion that Taco Bell serves enjoyable, edible food.