A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
Lifetime’s teen TV fantasy, The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story. It’s not a ripped-from-the-headlines story—it’s a there-were-no-headlines-so-we-just-kind-of-made-it-up story.
Realizing that the teasers for American Horror Story: Freak Show are probably (read: definitely) better than the show itself will be. Thirteen seconds of a lizard-tongued man are interesting. Twenty-two episodes of a lizard-tongued man involved in some kind of convoluted gross-out mystery are not.
History Channel’s surprisingly dull Houdini. Apparently Houdini’s last (and lamest) trick was to inspire a boring mini-series full of pretentious Adrian Brody voice-over.
The early return of Starbucks’ pumpkin spice latte. The perfect addition to any Labor Day pool party: cup after cup of hot, drinkable pumpkin pie.
Lay’s cappuccino flavored potato chips. Milky coffee that tastes like gourds is one thing, but potato chips that taste like milky coffee is another level of stupid.
Dispatches from Burning Man. All those dusty, sunburned breasts, metal garbage sculptures, and designer yurts would look like art to you too if you were baking in the desert for five days pretending money doesn’t exist.
Taylor Swift’s personal revolution of dance, “Shake It Off.” And with that, the thin line between Taylor Swift video and title montage for a new preteen Nickelodeon show has disappeared.