A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
The only podcast that actually gets more interesting week-to-week, Serial. So many mysteries yet to be solved: Did Adnan do it? Where is Don? Will that person ever learn how to say “Mail Chimp”?
The trailer for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. Now with more mall!
People’s annual unveiling of the “sexiest man alive.” Every year, People magazine gives grandmothers and grandaunts everywhere a reason to write them a letter expressing their overwhelming feelings of either confirmed or thwarted mom-lust.
The return of TLC’s polygamy programming, My Five Wives. Judging by this show and Sister Wives, engaging in polygamy means signing up for a life of buying groceries in bulk, using feeling words when arguing, and boring audiences to tears.
Progressive’s disconcerting “Flo’s family” commercials. It’s one thing to buy insurance from a woman in a white apron who lives in a Gattaca-like void, but it’s quite another to buy insurance from Flo’s version of the Klumps.
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part One collection for Hot Topic. Seems about right: Nothing says dystopian nightmare like shopping at the premier store for mall goths since 1992.
The American Music Awards. The only thing worse than the flashing, pulsating hellscape that is MTV’s Video Music Awards is a milquetoast copy of the VMAs (with added Pitbull). The AMAs are the VMAs for homeschooled children who don’t have cable.