This week we’re barely putting up with The Lizzie Borden Chronicles

A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.

Sutton Foster on TV Land’s Younger. She’s a 40-year-old pretending to be 26, the NYC publishing industry is thriving, and people say “the Burg” with a straight face—but Sutton Foster makes it all believable.

The launch of Jay Z’s streaming service, Tidal. It felt like a second We Are The World, but the “we” here is Jay Z, Alicia Keys, Coldplay, etc.

Spike’s sad celeb sing-along, Lip Sync Battle. RuPaul’s Drag Race has been doing this since 2009, and it’s true what they say: Drag queens make everything better.

Oreo’s latest attempt to reinvent the perfectly good Oreo wheel, Cotton Candy Oreos. Just play the hits, Oreos. Nobody (with teeth) wants to eat cotton candy and cookies at the same time.

Lifetime’s nonsensical Lizzie Borden Chronicles. It’s the story of what happens when an actress (Christina Ricci) gets trapped in a Lifetime movie for eight episodes.

Dispatches from Coachella. Once a year, hundreds of Pretty Little Liars also-rans and former Disney stars put on cutoffs, strap on headbands, fry in the desert, and pretend they have something to do with music.

Mike Huckabee’s thoroughly pandering study of real ’merica, God, Guns, Grits, And Gravy. When your last name is “Huckabee”—a word that would look most appropriate on a country record from the ’50s, or on a pouch of second-tier brand chewing tobacco—you don’t have to lay it on quite so thick. We get it.

 
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