A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
Fox’s funny/weird/delightful The Last Man On Earth. If there’s only going to be one, it’s great that it’s Will Forte.
The new, “healthy” Girl Scout Cookie flavor, Rah-Rah Raisins. Nice try, Girl Scouts, but cheering for raisins is about as likely as getting thin eating Thin Mints.
The Lazarus Effect. A group of medical students get together and try to raise Flatliners from the dead.
The re-launch of JNCO jeans, the original (and thankfully only) raver pants. Ironically, you could make an entire line of non-JNCO jeans out of one pair of 50-inch-bell JNCOs.
Taco Bell’s “manly” Triple Steak Stack. In ancient cultures, being able to stomach a literal pile of meat strips was a test of both virility and stupidity.
Sprint’s ear-stabbing narwhals commercial. Why, yes, that is a 5-year-old meme trying to sell you unlimited minutes. Apparently Poochie was unavailable.
CBS’s pointless bikini parade—with Maroon 5!—the Victoria’s Secret Swim Special. This is the program you should reference whenever anyone says we’re in a golden age of television.