Today in "it's Friday and this is dumb" news: Lindsay Lohan to be known as just "Lindsay" now

Perhaps as an effort to free herself of all the negative associations with her surname—such as making it impossible for Perez Hilton to call her “BlowHan” or “HoHan” anymore—Lindsay Lohan is reportedly dropping her last name to become the single-monikered “Lindsay,” a move that will immediately vault her to the celebrity status of people like Madonna, Prince, and Cher, and make everyone instantly forget everything they ever thought they knew about her, just in time for her upcoming trial. That is, of course, as long as Lindsay’s enabler Dina Lohan can be believed, who says that Lindsay’s decision has been percolating for a long time, and that she finally  realized she was already inextricably identified with “Lindsay” after seeing that E-trade commercial she was so convinced was about her.

As part of the makeover, Dina and Lindsay’s younger sister Ali are reportedly reverting back to Dina’s maiden name, Sullivan, meaning everyone can officially stop paying attention to them, and Michael Lohan will be left to sully the Lohan name alone. Anyway, you can probably expect Lindsay Lohan to refute this story shortly, but in the meantime you should go ahead and practice just saying, “Lindsay,” as in, “Remember when that Lindsay person used to be in movies, which slightly justified talking about her?”