Tom Cruise Controls The Media

We all know Tom Cruise is crazy.

Well, he's no longer just riding-a-motorcycle-on-German-TV crazy. No, now he's crazy enough to think that online polls (for

Parade magazine, no less) sway public opinion. The NY Post, is reporting that someone rigged a recent Parade magazine poll in Cruise's favor.

Parade.com recently asked online readers whether they thought Cruise was responsible for his disastrous public relations year or if it was the media's fault. A shocking 84 percent of respondents blamed the press. But Parade publicist Alexis Collado tells us: "We at Parade found this a little bit fishy, so we did some investigating. We found out more than 14,000 (of the 18,000-plus votes) that came in were cast from only 10 computers! One computer was responsible for nearly 8,400 votes alone, all blaming the media for Tom's troubles…There is even a chance they wrote a special 'bot' program for the sole purpose of skewing the results, rather than casting the votes by hand on a computer."

And we all know how familiar Tom Cruise is with "bots."

So, to sum up, here's a list of things that Tom Cruise has rigged in his favor:

1. A Parade.com Magazine poll (Next time, maybe he'll go for a an eonline.com poll or one of the incredibly influential teenpeople.com polls as well).

2.

Comedy Central

3. Drug addicts

4. Katie Holmes

5. Katie's uterus, for what seems like

way longer than 9 months.

6. A whole slew of Body Thetans.

Did I miss anything?

 
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