Tom Hanks is surely the meanest, most awful person in Hollywood. He must demand a king’s fifth, because everyone always seems to be asking him to participate in their projects, presumably out of fear that he’ll otherwise throttle them with his firm, typewriter-obsessed hands. And the world of late night television is no exception, as The Hollywood Reporter announces that Hanks will be the first guest on James Corden’s debut outing as host of The Late Late Show.
Corden’s capitulation to the demonic whims of the universally agreed-upon “Most Hated Man In America” will take place on March 23, 2015. Now that Reggie Watts is confirmed as band leader, The Late Late Show will hopefully be running smoothly by the time of Hanks’ appearance, lest he grow angry and throw one of his signature “Tommy Tantrums.” Also, the appearance will come just five days prior to the annual International Tom Hanks Day, the yearly bacchanal in which Hanks, alternating between feasting and purging, demands a small child as human sacrifice for the many years of joyful entertainment he has brought to the world. (Or it may be a fan-organized event raising money for Lifeline Energy, a charity Hanks is heavily involved in that provides technology assistance to vulnerable populations. But probably the human sacrifice thing.)