After years of cruises built around the equally dubious themes of reunited ’90s bands and the blood orgies of cannibal rats, Bravo has hit upon the first branded cruise that actually makes sense: Top Chef At Sea. Producers of the cooking competition series have partnered with Celebrity Cruises to devise a charter line of 10 different ships that finally recognize that cruises are floating buffet bars, where the vicissitudes of the ocean remind passengers that life is unpredictable, so they should eat a giant omelet. Also, there’s not shit to do; have another omelet.
Tickets get you aboard a luxury liner with former contestants who will participate in Quickfire Challenges and contribute to a Top Chef-inspired menu—a menu whose remnants will, for once, not be pitched into the nearest garbage can the second Padma Lakshmi has allowed a single crumb to roll indulgently, sinfully across her tongue. An inaugural one-off cruise was launched last year; you can check out a recap from Eater's Max Silvestri, which culminates in a listing of all the meals he ate that reads like the autopsy of a Roman emperor.
In addition to being the first branded cruise that actually sounds appealing, The Hollywood Reporter notes that it’s also Bravo’s first licensed cruise, potentially setting the stage for a Real Housewives-themed cruise where they’re wrangled onto a boat and given a Viking funeral.