Transfix yourself with a five-minute loop of Morrissey singing “Beefaroni”
Morrissey’s World Peace Is None Of Your Business isn’t exactly a nuanced album, and “I’m Not A Man” fights back against images of masculinity with all of the preaching subtlety of an out-of-control tractor trailer driven by a Gender Studies graduate student. Embedded in his amorphous shopping list of unfavorable male stereotypes are a couple of unintentionally hilarious non sequiturs, the most obvious being “Beefaroni.”
Sure, it falls squarely in line with the singer’s vendetta against industrialized animal slaughter, but come on Morrissey, pick a topic and just stick with it. You can’t just ball up all of your perceived slights into a single piñata of free-association without sounding ridiculous. In the case of John Bent’s Beefaroni remix, exceptionally ridiculous.
Clocking in at five minutes, the construction is minimal. A loop of “Beefaroni,” accompanied by a crying Morrissey fading into Chef Boyardee’s implacable smile, and back again. Is it a low blow to Morrissey, mocking what he stands for? Possibly. Does it call much-needed attention to the ridiculousness of this track, and the album as a whole? Yes. Does Morrissey’s warbling pronunciation of “Beefaroni” fork into dozens of bizarre directions almost immediately upon repetition? Absolutely.