It's probably very difficult being Tyra Banks. You walk around with a cranial cavity that's empty except for two tired bees, and those bees are constantly buzz buzz buzzing with, like, the best ideas. But no one seems to "get" your ideas. It has to be frustrating. The bees knock around in your hollow skull, and so you say, "Why don't I dress up like a fat person, in order to, like, see how fat people feel, which is probably terrible. But then I immediately go back to being a model?" And everyone just stares at you blankly, refusing to smile with their eyes (even though that's a real skill that you invented and then gave to the world! You're welcome, Universe). Finally, someone will meekly offer, "But, Tyra. That doesn't make any sense. I mean, that idea is incongruous at best, insulting at worst." And then you just scream, "H to T modeling!" for no reason because that's what the bees said to say.
Of course, the reason no one "gets" any of Tyra's ideas is because all of her ideas come from a place where logic doesn't exist—Tyra Banks. You can't make sense of any of them, because there's no sense to be made.
Case in point, back in October Tyra had the contestants on America's Next Top Model painted up as biracial people in order to "celebrate" the hapa culture in Hawaii and President Barack Obama. It gets even more huh? The racial combinations she chose for the girls to portray (Greek/Mexican, Russian/Moroccan, Native American/East Indian) had nothing to do with Hawaiian hapa. And nothing could celebrate biracial culture like having a bunch of models dress up in race stereotype costumes for some challenge on the dumbest of dumb reality shows, right?
To be clear: obviously Tyra wasn't being racist. She was just being run-o-the-mill stupid and illogical, as is Tyra's way. But apparently some very sensitive people were unfamiliar with Tyra's bee-brained, moronic ways, and they were offended. So yesterday on her show, Tyra offered an apology for her gentle blackface episode. Basically, she's really, really sorry if you didn't get it.
From Access Hollywood:
“I’m sorry to anybody that watched ‘Top Model’ and was offended by the pictures because they didn’t understand the real story behind them or even if you did see the whole episode and you were still offended, I truly apologize because that is not my intention,” she said. “My intention is to spread beauty and break down barriers.”
“It is a passion of mine, it’s one of the reasons why I live and breathe and what I feel my duty is and it is definitely my number one passion in my life, to expand the definition of beauty, to stretch the boundaries and help young girls raise their self esteem by teaching them to embrace their beauty… to look in that mirror and see that different shade of their skin and say… ‘This is beautiful,’” she said.
And what could help young girls embrace their beauty more than watching a show where other young girls compete to be the best model, right, Tyra? She only wanted young Botswanan/Polynesian girls to look at the Asian girl she painted brown and put in a grass headress and say, "OMG. I am beautiful. Or I would be if I were Asian? I'm confused." Why doesn't anybody get it?
It's not like she did the shoe polish kind of blackface! (Tyra actually said this, probably cause the bees told her to.)