A while back, in this very space, I wondered how far Tyra Banks would dig into her stunt disability casting reserves for the next cycle/season of America's Next Top Model. After all, she had to top Britain's Missing Top Model, a show made up entirely of disabled models. Which rare conditions or unique disorders would she discover to keep the gravitron of ridiculousness that is America's Next Top Model constantly spinning, spinning, spinning towards the sun?
Now, we have our answer. Tyra found a transsexual contestant.
A few things:
1. Tyra's story about how she found out that Isis was transsexual was obviously cut very short. It was probably more like: "I said 'this girl,' and my staff said, 'Tyra, there's something a little different about this girl.' And then I said, 'Yes, well, when I first started modeling, people said that about me too. Cause I wasdifferent. I was like nothing the fashion industry had ever seen. I mean, I had this big forehead, and just the fiercest walk of anyone out there. But I was so young, you know? And I think it scared some people. So everyone was like different, different, all the time about me.' And then, I'll never forget it, one of the members of my staff placed the Strawberry Horizons Jamba Juice she had just run out to get on the table in front of me, looked me in the eye, and said, 'No, Tyra. She's different cause she used to be a man.' Then it was like the clouds parted and God Himself came down and whispered in my ear, 'This is the hook for Cycle 11, Tyra.' And so here you are."
2. The other contestants meekly trying to assert what's special about them ("My disability is short term memory loss." "I was sold to the prince of Saudi Arabia as a wife." What?) is incredibly pathetic.
3. Apparently one of the girls is part Praying Mantis. A transsexual, someone who may or may not have been the victim of human trafficking, short-term memory loss girl, and a contestant who's part insect? Cycle/Season 11 will be the worst Cycle/Season ever!