Universal may drop Kristen Stewart from Snow White And The Huntsman sequel for kissing the wrong boy

By Sean O'Neal | August 15, 2012 | 3:45pm

Aux Features Film

Universal is reportedly considering amending plans for its previously planned, Chris Hemsworth-focused Snow White And The Huntsman sequel, potentially cutting Kristen Stewart from the project entirely for kissing the wrong boy. "The studio is currently exploring options to continue the franchise," a Universal spokesperson vaguely told The Hollywood Reporter while surrounded by shredded, tear-stained Twilight posters, no doubt adding under their breath, "Just like Kristen 'explored her options' and messed around with Rupert Sanders, breaking poor Robert Pattinson's heart. Ughhhhh." Sanders, meanwhile, is expected to return to direct, so long as he promises to remember that he has a wife and not to go around kissing everyone. However, according to THR, the project's transformation from sequel to spinoff has already pushed out screenwriter David Koepp, who will now be settled out of his rich contract according to the "Kristen Stewart is a total homewrecker" contingency clause that every movie needs to have now, apparently.

Of course, contrary to earlier reports that both Stewart and Hemsworth had been optioned for two potential sequels, E! defends Stewart by saying that Stewart was never under any contractual obligation to return, likely because E! is such a little wannabe who wishes it could totally sleep around too. And Universal cautions that all of this is still in the talking-it-out phase, telling the L.A. Times that it's possible Stewart could still be a part of the film if she learns how to not be all gross, concluding, "No decisions have made [besides deciding that Kristen a total ugmo beeyotch who needs to find somewhere else to sit at lunch]" in an official statement scrawled in the studio slam-book.